Lyrics The Vasectomy Song - The Limeliters

The Vasectomy Song

Well, I went to see my Doctor,
I said, Doc, I can’t pay my bills!
The rent’s all spent,
The truck’s got a dent,
And I think I’m gettin’the chills
From being forced to sleep alone,
You see this house just ain’t no home,
I can’t afford no kids,
My life is on the skids,
'Cause my woman says
Leave me alone,
Unless you get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation!
Get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!
Well, the next thing I know,
I’m laying on a table
With a light shinin’in my eyes!
They strapped my wrists,
They strapped my ankles,
And they double-strapped my thighs!
The nurses were a gigglin'
And I was a wigglin',
Most uncomfortably,
When the Doc walked in,
With a perverted grin,
And here’s what he said to me:
It only hurts
For a little while,
That’s what they tell me,
That’s what they say!
Oooeeeiy!
Ooooh!
Aiiiy Oh!
Well, it’s two weeks later,
And I feel a little better,
My mind is more at ease.
The rent’s still spent,
The truck’s got a dent,
But my woman’s no longer a tease!
And even down at the office,
There is a lot more interest in me,
The girls all grin when I walk in!
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy,
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Like a sun-kissed orange,
I’ve been squeezed,
'Cause its all juice and there’s no seed!
Well, a vasedctomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens!
It’s beginnin’to make a little sense!
Oh what a vas deferens there could…'
Here is the part that I like the most,
It takes the danger out of bein’close!
Oh what a vas deferens there could.
They snip those little suckers right in two
And clamp 'em of with super-glue!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!