| Where’d the control to my TV go
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| It’s the witness to the world but a nuisance to my soul
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| Where’d the control to my TV go
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| Trisha’s on the telly man, I don’t wanna know
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| Just how low this country can go
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| Where’d the control to my TV go
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| This boxer’s in prison without parole
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| Where’d the control to my TV go
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| The weather girl forecasts rain and snow
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| But outside my window, sunshine glows
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| Where’s my control
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| Where’s my control, my control
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| I stick my hand down my settee
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| And I get stuck I can’t get free
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| All I find’s a measly 50p
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| And now I’m stuck on my settee
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| With one hand free and shit TV
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| And I can’t quite reach my cup of tea
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| Where’s my control
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| Where’s my control, my control
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| Where’d my control go, I don’t know
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| Where’d my control go, I don’t know
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| Where, I don’t know where
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| BBC and ITV, they’re meant to educate their PSBs
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| I might as well watch QVC
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| QVC’s alright with me, it’s got exactly what I need
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| A brand new control for my TV
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| Where’s my control
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| Where’s my control, my control (x2)
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| Where’d my control go, I don’t know
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| Where’d my control go, I don’t know
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| Where, I don’t know where
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| Where’d my control go, I don’t know, (where'd my control to my TV go)
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| Where’d my control go, I don’t know, (where'd my control to my TV go)
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| Where, I don’t know where |