| If she asks, don’t tell her that I’m living hand-to-mouth
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| Don’t tell her I’ve been sleeping on your couch
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| If she asks just tell her that we opened for the Stones
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| It’s her favorite band except for The Ramones
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| If she happens to suggest a love based on trust and respect
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| Tell her I’ve been wasted since last week
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| If she wants to stop on by, tell her that I almost died
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| Tell her I ain’t seeing people yet
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| But see if she’ll send cigarettes
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| If she asks, don’t tell her about the bloodshed in the streets
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| The less she knows, the less she can repeat
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| If she happens to bring up the pinpricks and the throwing up
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| Tell her it’s just part of growing up
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| If she wants to get involved
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| Tell her to stay in St. Paul
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| Tell her I’m not up to taking calls
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| But ask her for some Adderall
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| Now Holly won’t say hi to me
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| 'Cause I’m in love with my anxiety
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| If she asks just tell her that we’re too far gone to deal
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| She should know exactly how that feels
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| If she wants a scene report, don’t tell her about the kitchen doors
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| Tell her we ain’t even keeping score no more
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| If she wants to help the cause
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| Tell her we need sterile gauze
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| Tell her she should look through all her medecine
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| And she if she’s got clonapenze
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| Now Charlemagne don’t seem the same
|
| He’s skinny, scared and off his game
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| He’s been hiding from those gentlemen
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| With the same tattoos as Gideon |