| Right here’s the definitive rant
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| Slates drive me bats
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| Male slates I bait
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| Male slates, male slags
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| Male slates, male slags and apes
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| Male slags, slags slates and tapes
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| Male slags in creaky pants and scrubbed hands
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| Kill jokes, join gangs
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| Male slates, slags slates and apes
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| And slates brake hard, brake hardly
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| Break your slates for Christ’s sake
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| Male slags, male slates and tapes
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| Ripoff bands with creaky pants and scrubbed hands
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| Male slate, male slag
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| Knocks over your drink and pays for correct amount spilt
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| Male slags, slags slates and drapes
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| Male slags, slags slates and apes
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| Academic male slags
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| Academic male slags
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| Ream off names of books and bands
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| Ream off names of books and bands
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| Kill cultural interest in our land
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| Male slates, dead publishers sons
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| Dead publishers sons
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| In the star cold, nearly old
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| In the nearly old dead sound of some wanker
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| Commence
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| famous apes become great
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| Male slags, male slags and slates
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| Male slags
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| Male slags, slags slates and apes
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| Let’s get on to female slates
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| Smoke your cigarettes
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| Make pins out of your whims
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| Break your balls
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| Male cunts
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| Okay mates
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| Male slates
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| Okay let’s go to the valley of weights
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| Let’s get on to the valley of weights
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| The valley of weights was a valley where everybody wore weights
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| And once they had rid of the weights
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| Once they got rid of the weights they become trite
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| Trite and uptight
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| Too much freedom for a small brain regime
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| Too much freedom for a small brain regime
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| Male slags, slags slates and tapes |