| O’er grassy dale, and lowland scene
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| Come see, come hear, the English Scheme
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| The lower-class, want brass, bad chests, scrounge fags
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| The clever ones tend to emigrate
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| Like your psychotic big brother, who left home
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| For jobs in Holland, Munich, Rome
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| He’s thick but he struck it rich, switch!
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| The commune crap, camp bop, middle-class, flip-flop
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| Guess that’s why they end up in bands
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| He’s the freak creep in us all
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| He’s the freak creep in us all
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| Condescends to black men
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| Very nice to them
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| They talk of Chile while driving through Haslingden
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| You got sixty hour weeks, and stone toilet back gardens
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| Peter Cook’s jokes, bad dope, check shirts, fancy groups
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| Point their fingers at America
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| Down pokey quaint streets in Cambridge
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| Cycle our distant spastic heritage
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| It’s a gay red, roundhead, army career, bread head
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| If we were smart we’d emigrate |