| Woman goes to heaven, it’s not important when
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| 'Cause as soon as she arrives God has to send her down again
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| 'You've got an extra five years to clean up after men'
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| 'I mean no disrespect God, but you better make it ten'
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| Well if heaven’s an improvement I won’t mind the extra squeeze
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| I’ve got a few more birds down there God, after losing bees
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| Trying to lose their bees
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| So don’t be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
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| A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
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| No time for lively discussion
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| No time for televised debates
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| The well-meaning soon become the well meant
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| It’s the hard sell or hell at the gates
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| Alcoholic finds himself outside the pearly gates
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| I’ve only got one worry God, a few outstanding slates
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| Any tab you used to have’s been passed to so called mates
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| And after they’ve paid-up they’re off to the land of empty crates
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| Heaven is a glass, neither half empty nor half full
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| So do us all a favour God and give that thing a pull
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| Give that thing a pull
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| So don’t be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
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| A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
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| No time for lively discussion
|
| No time for televised debates
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| The well-meaning soon become the well meant
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| It’s the hard sell or hell at the gates
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| Model turns up hours late, he had to get it right
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| If you’re gonna look cool in heaven wear something more than white
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| Vanity’s close to arrogance, just slightly more polite
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| Fashion show a jumble sale at a slightly different height
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| So don’t be shocked who queue-jumps or who just calmly waits
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| A certain type of behaviour the guest list just creates
|
| No time for lively discussion
|
| No time for televised debates
|
| The well-meaning soon become the well meant
|
| It’s the hard sell or hell at the gates |