| This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise
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| So let me sit you down and tell you how I won first prize
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| I took on your free enterprise and your pretty little shops
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| Walked in with empty bags and walked out with the lot
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| So I’ve come for my award, I’ve come for my award
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| I thought I’d come in person that’s the least I can afford
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| Let hands be shook
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| Champagne poured
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| Sentence ignored
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| Yes. |
| I’ve come for my award
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| This is the Awards for Industry and Free Enterprise
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| Anyone want a gold watch in a ladies’size?
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| There’s a few more round the back
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| I stole them from your shop
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| We’ve got no more in silver, that’s all that you’d got
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| I chatted with your guards and winked at roving eye
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| A thousand hidden cameras were searching cross the sky
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| But they didn’t see me pinch them from underneath their eyes
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| Jesus was my greatest accomplice
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| Jesus was my greatest accomplice
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| Jesus was my greatest accomplice
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| Yes, I’ve come for my award
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| Hairdrier, overcoat, telly, dot-to-dot
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| Video, compact disc, there’s nothing we forgot
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| Whilst I was busy smiling my father got the lot
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| I’ve come for my Aaward |