| This is my life and this is how it reads
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| For every chapter, a thousand memories
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| A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds
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| A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease
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| Diary entry, 9th of May '62:
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| We’ve had some ugly babies but none were quite like you
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| Diary entry, '62, end of May:
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| It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay
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| They’re here to stay, they’re here to stay…
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| If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking
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| I’m a failure (You are, you are)
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| And if I seem half hearted, it’s because I’m broken hearted
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| And I’m a failure (You are, you are, you are)
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| I am (You are, you are, you are)
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| I am…
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| This is my life and this is how it reads
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| A documentary that nobody believes
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| Albert Steptoe in Gone With The Breeze
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| Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese
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| Diary entry '68, end of the year:
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| A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear
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| 11th December '68, Captain’s log:
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| Proposed trip to Mars was cancelled due to fog
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| It’s due to fog, it’s due to fog…
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| This is the play, it was I who wrote the script
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| Terry meets June in Tales From The Crypt
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| It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped
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| They later found him scolding a banana
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| Diary entry, 10th of April '89:
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| The world is going mad but me, I’m doing fine
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| I’m doing fine, I’m doing fine…
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| Back to bed, back to reality
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| Back to bed, back to reality
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| Back to bed, back to reality
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| (Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup)
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| Back to bed, back to reality
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| Hmmm, back to bed, back to reality
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| (Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa)
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| Back to bed, back to reality
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| Just fine |