| With a face like a crab’s bus ticket
|
| And skin like a llama’s door mat
|
| He was always gonna struggle
|
| Nature had seen to that
|
| He dreamt of those old-fashioned movies
|
| Where Bogart gets the dame
|
| But a lorry load of Lorre
|
| Is still the score of pain
|
| And he sings
|
| I may be ugly
|
| But I’ve got the bottle-opener
|
| He may be fat but he’s got the cork-screw
|
| And in the party party politics of this ugly fame
|
| There is no orderly queue
|
| With a chin like a tramp’s juke-box
|
| And eyes like a rhino’s ash-tray
|
| It was always going to be pantomime
|
| That made him sing and dance anyway
|
| When you feel like London
|
| And you look like Hull
|
| You think Travolta pulled Newton — John
|
| Who did John Hurt pull?
|
| And they compliment the compliment
|
| And it’s driving you insane
|
| It’s like talking to a helicopter
|
| When you know that you’re a plane
|
| Breath like a mountain goat’s satchel
|
| Nose like a pool of sick
|
| But you always leave your flies ahoy
|
| 'Cause the world wants to suck your dick
|
| Let it suck!
|
| And he sings
|
| I may be ugly
|
| But I’ve got the bottle-opener
|
| He may be fat but he’s got the cork-screw
|
| And in the party party politics of this ugly fame
|
| There is no orderly queue |