| Only buy this if you’re lonely
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| Only listen if you’re blue
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| If you are married and you are happy
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| This song is not to do with you
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| If you’re listening at your work place
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| Feeling small amongst the men
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| Do not sing this to your workmates
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| This song is not to do with them
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| But if you’re sitting on a barstool
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| Wondering what on earth to do
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| Don’t let them tell you no-one cares
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| This songs one especially for you
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| If you are listening on your radio
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| Smiling while you drive along
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| Tune the band into another
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| Because this song is not your song
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| If you’re working as a DJ
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| Leave this record in it’s sleeve
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| Cause this ones not for general airplay
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| This song’s for the day she leaves
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| If you’ve bought this and you’re sinking
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| And I think that you know who
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| It matters not the mouth thats singing |