Lyrics The Ballad of the Half-Brained Man - Chamber - L'Orchestre De Chambre Noir

The Ballad of the Half-Brained Man

Born on a Wednesday noon
Somewhere in the midlands
They´d mistaken half his brain for the afterbirth and threw it away
Since that day he always needed someone to look after him
His half-hearted mother gave him away
So his half-brother took care
Brought him down again
Since he was only running upstairs
Took off the clothes he´d forgotten to take off
Whipped his back when he´d shit in his pants
Cause he´d forgotten to take them down while sitting on the pot
Another reason for why he never had friends:
He was unbearably forgetful, dumb and smelled
On the day his half-brother died he had to start to grow
And look after himself
He got a part time job in a library
And yeah, you know the story, he never finished a book
Even though he´d started them all
One day, in the pub, after work, having half a pint
He realized for the first time
That there was something missing in his life
For the first time he was aware of his loneliness
What caused a flood of half pints
Till he got thrown out and stumbled towards home
From the next day on he was looking for his woman
But of course, none of those he had chosen was in any kind attached to him
He got very frustrated and depressive
Drunk ways too much and still smelled;
Remember this little restroom — problem!
This also didn´t help the situation
He was so sick and tired of his half-a-live
That he´d decided to commit suicide
And shot himself in the head
Nothing happened of course
It was the wrong side of the skull — the one with no brain
He was taken to the hospital where he
Packed in bandage stumbled into a person on the corridor
Packed in bandage, too
But oh-god, it was a female with her skull dressing on the opposite side than
his…
Half a year later they were married
And when their child was born — oh what a miracle:
It was fully brained
He was the most happy person on this planet even though he was still
Unbearably forgetful, dumb and smelled…
So, their life became more and more difficult
She slept when he was awake
She shut doors when he wanted them open…
Their love turned into hate
And one day she took the child and left him
It looks like females can deal better
With half brained lives than males
She went back to her mother
Where she still lives her happy half-brained life
But he drowned in deep depressions again
Became worse than ever before and
Yes, one day he took the old gun again and… BANG…
This time he got the right side
He´d learned something after all
Words: Marcus Testory