| Scenic drive from Auburn to Diamond Springs
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| American River sparkles under the bridge on this fine day of spring
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| To the left Sutter’s Fort where they discovered gold to the right rolling
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| vineyards and apple orchards
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| I just passed the bridge and the sign for the town Cool
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| No, but that sign was the last for the Tim Mooney ever took
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| Before he left the world back in Nevada City
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| It was the summer where we cried for his wife and his daughter Dixie
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| Second day of April home still decorated Christmas-y
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| The front lawn’s been cut and the backyard has a fallen tree
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| Tomorrow my yard guy’s gonna get back there and cut it to pieces
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| I’m on the front porch staring at this old dusty bible and I’m writing lyrics
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| And on the floors, an old pearloid accordion made by Hohner
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| Three gas lamps, two antique, and the other faux
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| And I’m out here and it feels good
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| (In this moment) In this moment
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| Writing words on my big, black Victorian wrap-around porch
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| Next we gotta be leaving maybe slightly but not so sadly gonna see Manny
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| Pacquiao fight against Timothy Bradley
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| Where I predict Manny will lose by decision, suffering him to the fourth,
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| five brains bashed in, his hangarounds keep winning
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| Then I’m going down to New Orleans for Gulf Coast oysters
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| That’s right, baby, I’m living my dream
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| For the first moment I ever picked up guitar I knew my life would go down a
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| different road than the kid next door
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| I hear the birds outside tweet, tweet, tweeting
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| And the cars along the highway off in the distance
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| I hear an owl up in the tree hoot, hoot, hoot, hooting
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| I hear a Spanish radio in the basement talk, talk, talking
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| I smell the sardine can from the meal I’ve just eaten
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| Gonna put this pen down, stare off into the sky, dreaming with my heart is the
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| world’s biggest smile
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| For the hell of it I’m gonna read a random passage from the Bible
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| It’s been in this house since the first day I owned it
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| It was laying open, swear I’d never touch it but my housekeeper picked it up
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| and closed it
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| So here we go, gonna read just a bit of it
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| Then look off into the pines and let my mind drift
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| Chapter 9, St. Luke
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| Christ sends forth his apostles, feeds five thousand with five loaves,
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| is transfigured and casts out a devil. |
| Then calling together the twelve
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| apostles, he gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure
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| diseases. |
| And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick.
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| And he said to them: Take nothing for your journey; |
| neither staff, nor scrip,
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| nor bread, nor money; |
| neither have two coats. |
| And whatsoever house you shall
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| enter into, abide there, and depart not from thence. |
| And whosoever will not
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| receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off even the dust of your feet,
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| for a testimony against them
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| And going out, they went about through the towns, preaching the gospel,
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| and healing everywhere
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| So there I was, I read a part of the book of Jesus
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| Now I’m eating sunflower seeds and chili lemon peanuts
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| Sipped on a bottle of Glacéau smartwater
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| And fell asleep until from upstairs my girl woke me up when she hollered
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| 12:45 AM
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| SNL, Gwen Stefani, and the short actor guy, what’s his name?
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| We are the beautiful dead and the beautiful night
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| I love my girl and my home and this miracle of life
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| 1:04 AM, Vdara Hotel
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| Room 14 015, April 9, 2016
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| Our day started today with many kisses
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| You were on your way out the door to Southern California 'til the fourteenth
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| And I was on my way to Las Vegas, then to New Orleans
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| When you said bye and closed my apartment door behind you
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| A heavy feeling fell upon me, it hit me in a very real way
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| That we’ll live the rest of our lives together
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| And that gives me so much happiness and comfort
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| But it also hit me harder than ever before that one day we’ll say goodbye for a
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| final time
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| Every day we get closer and closer to death
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| I have no illusions of an afterlife
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| And have no idea how much longer I have on this planet
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| Or what my quality of life will be in five, ten, fifteen years
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| Where will our final goodbye be? |
| What condition will I be in?
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| And how will your health be? |
| Are we even sure we’ll be in the same place when |
| one of us has to go?
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| I don’t like goodbyes
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| I’ve had enough last goodbyes with people to know that it’s the most painful
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| emotion in the world
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| I don’t want to live for eternity, life is filled with too much sorrow
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| My mind keeps flashing to a woman I saw recently
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| Of her and her son asleep in the car on the Tenderloin on a very hot day
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| They were in a tow-away zone and looked to be completely passed out
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| She had a big map open on her lap
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| But I knocked on the door and though she couldn’t speak to me she was okay
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| My biggest hope in life is that you are beside me when I die
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| I’ve lived many lifetimes in forty-nine years
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| But the best time of my life is of my days and years spent with you
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| I’m getting older and my stomach is bloated and feels off
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| I burp too much, I’m that middle-aged guy with a gut that I never thought I’d be
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| And here I am in Las Vegas
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| Family men with bellies bigger than mine are walking around with Guns N' Roses
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| t-shirts
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| My elevator was shared with people who’ve arrived from the Philippines to see
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| the Pacquiao fight
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| How many more times will I fly to Las Vegas?
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| I saw Pacquiao when he was rising
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| In San Francisco in 2000 at Bill Graham
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| Now he’s thirty-seven and this might be his last fight
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| My money is on Bradley to win by a decision
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| That’s why I’m here, to see what may be Manny’s last fight, if in fact he does
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| win
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| I’m getting older and Las Vegas is as wild as ever
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| But I’m tired and I hear the hum of a small refrigerator
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| My mind and my eyes are fading
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| Vdara Hotel, 1:03 PM, April 9th
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| Meeting Tony in the lobby at 2:00 PM for lunch
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| Just turned on CNN
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| «Paris terror fugitive is hitman in Brussels bombing»
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| I woke up at about 9:00 AM
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| Terrible nightmare that Caroline and I were being followed by this creepy
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| lizard-y-looking plastic surgery guy I saw on the plane yesterday
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| He was following us to a hotel
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| But I was diplomatic, turned around, and told him we’d meet him on the balcony
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| of some bar nearby
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| When we arrived and talked to him, he started throwing insults at me
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| And I knocked his drink out of his hand and into the street
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| He stayed there unfazed
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| Then I grabbed him by his neck, lifting him, pushing him almost, but not quite,
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| over the balcony
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| I told him to go fuck himself and to stay the fuck out of our lives
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| He finally shut his stupid mouth
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| And as we left, Caroline told me that I was good with dealing with creeps
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| That was the end of the dream
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| April 10, seat 2E, United Airlines, Las Vegas to New Orleans
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| The fight didn’t go as I thought
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| To me, the math added up to Bradley winning by a decision, if it went the
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| distance
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| But Bradley was knocked down twice and lost
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| Bradley had a few moments and I jumped up out of my seat, threw my fists in the
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| air, and got pumped up with excitement
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| But Manny was faster and countered him
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| Manny was the best fighter that night
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| We were in seat 19B, right where the fighters entered and exited
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| I felt bad for Bradley when he passed
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| His trainer Teddy Atlas looked deflated, yet stoic at the same time as he exited
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| Manny’s mother and his wife and kids were all smiles when they exited
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| I sat in my chair for a long time after the fight, hemming and hawing about the
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| defeat
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| I owe money on my lost bet
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| The fight hadn’t gone as I predicted
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| And that’s life |