| Katy Kerlan was my first kiss
|
| I was only 5 years-old and she hit me with her purse
|
| I had braces on my legs and I almost fell down
|
| And from that day moving forward I’ve been petrified of blondes
|
| Oh Patricia, she was my first love
|
| She sat 8 rows behind me and I couldn’t breathe
|
| I gave her Pink Floyd — Animals when we were in 6th grade
|
| And it was on her turntable when I met her on Sunday
|
| Her mom was gone, we were listening to Dogs
|
| She reached down my pants and discovered I was bald
|
| And when I touched her down there she was blossoming and soft
|
| And the next day in school she ignored me in the hall
|
| Shelly and Amber gave me my first taste
|
| I went down on them both at Amber’s parents' place
|
| We were drunk as skunks and high on Darvon
|
| And they gave me a bath and I stumbled on home
|
| Mary Anne was my first fuck
|
| She slide down between my legs and oh my god she could suck
|
| I went with her friend first but I couldn’t get it in
|
| And when she caught me with Mary Anne her heart was broken
|
| Mary Anne got cold and abruptly broke it off
|
| For a guy with sweatpants and a pickup truck
|
| I begged her not to dump me and I pleaded no
|
| But her body language told me it was time for me to go
|
| The guy with the truck picked me up and brought me home
|
| I sat down at my piano and my spirit was low
|
| But I pulled myself together and I played a few notes
|
| Now I was the one who got their heart broke
|
| I met a girl named Deborah, she lived on the canal
|
| She made me eggs in the morning, she was such a sweet gal
|
| And we went to Red Lobster and we went to Tangier’s
|
| She had motherly love, she was warm and she cared
|
| She was a beautiful girl and she had a big heart
|
| But I drifted away because there wasn’t that spark
|
| Oh the complicated mess of sex and love
|
| When you give that first stinger, you’re the one who gets stung
|
| And when you lose control and how good it feels to cum
|
| And when you pant like a dog getting into someone
|
| Oh rejection, how it hurts so much
|
| When you can’t love the one you’ve been longing to touch
|
| And they’re onto something else and it don’t feel right
|
| And you wonder if they’re coming together all night
|
| Get your own trash, the cycle’s on and on
|
| And nobody’s right and nobody’s wrong
|
| All her shakes, sometimes we were drawn
|
| It’s a complicated place, this planet we’re on |