| I’m not an anarchist
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| But I know a man who is
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| He composed this masterpiece
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| About the nouveau stinking riche
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| Of cabbages and future kings
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| And marriage guidance councelings
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| Of geriatrics losing hope
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| In Stephen Patrick’s overcoat
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| Excuse my rudery
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| But stuff the juoblee!
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| It’s the last tango at the palace
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| Christopher goes down on Alice
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| A make-up girl from Selfridges
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| Unaccustomed to such privileges
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| Of His Majesty’s secret services
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| The kind of secret services
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| Usually confined to circuses
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| Excuse my rudery
|
| But stuff the jubilee!
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| Princess A to Princess Bea
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| And all their work for charity
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| Every royal lion' s head
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| On every boiled and frying egg
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| And every sodding polo team
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| In Hello ! |
| bloody magazine
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| And if you feel this story lacks
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| The royal seal on candle wax
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| Reel to reels of scuzzy facts
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| Of dodgy deal and income tax
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| String me up from Traitor’s Gate
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| Stick my head upon a stake
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| And if you feel this story sucks
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| That’s probably because I made it up
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| I didn' t really hitch a lift
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| To Windsor Castle bearing gifts
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| And I can prove it wasn' t me
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| I was on a stage in Germany
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| I’ve always loved the Oueenie Mum
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| Her daughters and her daughter' s sons
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| From Princess A to Princess Bea
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| And all the Royal Family
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| Stuff the jubilee! |