| Enter the young idealist
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| Chasing dragons to slay
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| Exit the hustler
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| Packing up his M.B.A
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| Freshmen scream in a classroom
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| Was there a sound?
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| First degree in the vacuum
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| I’m on college ground
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| Took a class
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| Big fun
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| Modern ethics 101
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| First day learn why
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| Ethics really don’t apply
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| Prof says, «One trait
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| Takes us to a higher state
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| Drug free, pure bliss
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| Get your pencils, copy this:
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| «Life unwinds like a cheap sweater
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| But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better
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| And the truth gets blurred like a wet letter
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| But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better»
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| Top of the class sits Ernest
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| He was brightest and best
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| Till the professor lured him
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| To the hopeless nest
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| Now he lives for the shortcut
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| Like a citizen should
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| Tells the class with a wink
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| «only the young die good.»
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| He says, «Ideals? |
| Uncouth
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| Fatalism needs youth
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| Eat well, floss right
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| Keep the hungry out of sight
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| Save face--nip and tuck
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| Praise yourself and pass the buck
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| Don’t forget the best advice
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| Everybody’s get a price
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| «Life unwinds like a cheap sweater
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| But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better
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| And the truth gets blurred like a wet letter
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| But since I gave up hope I feel a lot better
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| «While the world winds down to a final prayer
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| Nothing soothes quicker than complete despair
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| I predict by dinner I won’t even care
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| Since I gave up hope I feel a lot better»
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| Nazis plead in a courtroom
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| «Pardon me, boys»
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| Profits fall in a boardroom
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| Did they make a noise?
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| Someone spreads an affliction
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| Company’s nice
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| Someone sells an addiction
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| Puts your soul on ice
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| Half wits knock heads
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| Candidates in double beds
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| Good guys defect
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| «I can’t precisely recollect»
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| Teacher’s pet theory’s fine
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| If you’re born without a spine
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| Can’t you spell wrong?
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| Sing it to him Papa John |