| My greatest fear is a splendid thing
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| It’s an image of a middle-aged me with an earring
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| Playing shows to an empty bar
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| While the bottle waits grinning by the shadow of a pop star
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| My girlfriend is a stripper named Steve
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| Lost Sherri though I begged, «Don't leave»
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| And she left for Italy with Johnny Depp
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| He swooped in quick on his jet when she left
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| And oh God, I’m smoking whatever they put in front of me
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| Three hundred pounds with a swollen frown
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| Mumbling verses, just swimming through the ground
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| I invite you to dethrone me, you’ve all had enough of me
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| Had enough of me, had enough of me
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| Your eyes do a 180, you will turn away from me
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| Put your spear in me, put the fear in me
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| Old magazine by the Bemis toilet
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| Strategically placed for those who don’t know yet
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| That I thought I’d be the next Billie Joe
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| But my attempt to emulate him was thwarted by my ego
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| The Twins are long gone, Parker ain’t rung yet
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| Adam driven back to the arms of a Beckett
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| I’m a piss poor father so Lucy don’t call
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| My baby don’t call; |
| she never calls at all
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| Oh gosh, I’m drinking like every man in my bloodline
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| Chris found me in a puddle of brine
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| I said, «Don't worry, Conley. |
| Swear I’m fine.»
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| They say good things only happen to good people
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| Well, I guess that’s why I worry
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| It’s only a fear. |
| It’s only a premonition, dear
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| Slowing down, I’m in no hurry
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| «Jesus, dude! |
| You smell like curry.»
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| Now I see you’ve had enough of me
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| Enough of me, enough of me |