| When our old age pension check comes to our door
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| We won’t have to dread the poor house anymore
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| Though we’re old and thin and gray
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| Good times will be back to stay
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| When our old age pension check comes to our door
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| When her old age pension check comes to her door
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| Dear old grandma won’t be lonesome any more
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| She’ll be waiting at the gate
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| Every night she’ll have a date
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| When her old age pension check comes to her door
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| Grow a flowing long white beard and use a cane
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| 'Cause you’re in your second childhood, don’t complain
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| Life will just begin at sixty
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| We’ll all feel very frisky
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| When our old age pension check comes to our door
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| Powder and paint will be abolished on that day
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| And hoop skirts will then be brought back into play
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| Painted cheeks will be the rage
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| And old maids will tell their age
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| When their old age pension check comes to their door
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| All the drug stores will go bankrupt on that day
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| For cosmetics, they will all be put away
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| I’ll put a flapper on the shelf
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| Get a grandma for myself
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| When her old age pension check comes to her door
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| There’s a man that turned this country upside-down
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| With his old age pension rumor going 'round
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| If you want in on the fun
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| Send your dime to Washington
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| And that old age pension man will be around |