| I wish I was a diamond upon my Lulu’s hand,
|
| And every time she wiped her ass, I’d see the promised land,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| Bang away, my Lulu; |
| bang away good and strong.
|
| Oh, what’ll we do for a damn good screw when our Lulu’s dead and gone?
|
| I wish I was the pee-pot, beneath my Lulu’s bed,
|
| For every time she took a piss, I’d see her maidenhead,
|
| Oh Lordy.
|
| My Lulu had a baby. |
| She named it Sunny Jim.
|
| She dropped it in the pee-pot to see if he could swim^
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| First it went to the bottom, and then it came to the top,
|
| Then my Lulu got excited and grabbed it by the cock,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| I wish I was a candle, within my Lulu’s room,
|
| And every night at nine o’clock, I’d penetrate her womb,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| My Lulu’s tall and sprightly. |
| My Lulu’s tall and thin.
|
| I caught her by the railroad track jacking off with a coupling-pin,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| I took her to the Poodle Dog, upon the seventh floor.
|
| And there I gave her seventeen raps and still she called for more,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| My Lulu was arrested; |
| ten dollars was the fine.
|
| She said to the judge, «Take it out of this ass of mine,
|
| Oh, Lordy.»
|
| Sometimes I got a nickel and sometimes I got a dime,
|
| But when I got a quarter, Lulu lays it on the line,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| Pappy loved my mammy; |
| mammy loved the men.
|
| Now mammy’s full of buckshot and pappy’s in the pen,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| Lulu got religion; |
| she had it once before.
|
| She prayed to Christ with the minister while they did it on the floor,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| My Lulu went to Boston, and there she met a trucker,
|
| She high-balled to the bedroom cryin', «Double-clutch me,
|
| Mother-fucker.»
|
| My Lulu had a sister who lived up on a hill.
|
| If she hadn’t died of syphilis, we’d be banging still,
|
| Oh, Lordy.
|
| Some girls work in offices; |
| some girls work in stores,
|
| But Lulu works in a hotel with forty other whores.
|
| Oh, Lordy. |