| So we left Beirut Willa and I
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| He headed East to Baghdad and the rest of it
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| I set out North
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| I walked the five or six miles to the last of the street lamps
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| And hunkered in the curb side dusk
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| Holding out my thumb
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| In no great hope at the ramshackle procession of home bound traffic
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| Success!
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| An ancient Mercedes 'dolmus '
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| The ubiquitous, Arab, shared taxi drew up
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| I turned out my pockets and shrugged at the driver
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| «J'ai pas de l’argent «» Venez! |
| «A soft voice from the back seat
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| The driver lent wearily across and pushed open the back door
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| I stooped to look inside at the two men there
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| One besuited, bespectacled, moustached, irritated, distant, late
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| The other, the one who had spoken
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| Frail, fifty five-ish, bald, sallow, in a short sleeved pale blue cotton shirt
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| With one biro in the breast pocket
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| A clerk maybe, slightly sunken in the seat
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| «Venez!» |
| He said again, and smiled
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| «Mais j’ai pas de l’argent»
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| «Oui, Oui, d’accord, Venez!»
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| Are these the people that we should bomb
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| Are we so sure they mean us harm
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| Is this our pleasure, punishment or crime
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| Is this a mountain that we really want to climb
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| The road is hard, hard and long
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| Put down that two by four
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| This man would never turn you from his door
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| Oh George! |
| Oh George!
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| That Texas education must have fucked you up when you were very small
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| He beckoned with a small arthritic motion of his hand
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| Fingers together like a child waving goodbye
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| The driver put my old Hofner guitar in the boot with my rucksack
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| And off we went
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| «Vous etes Francais, monsieur? |
| «» Non, Anglais «» Ah! |
| Anglais «» Est-ce que vous parlais Anglais, Monsieur? |
| ««Non, je regrette»
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| And so on
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| In small talk between strangers, his French alien but correct
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| Mine halting but eager to please
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| A lift, after all, is a lift
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| Late moustache left us brusquely
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| And some miles later the dolmus slowed at a crossroads lit by a single lightbulb
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| Swung through a U-turn and stopped in a cloud of dust
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| I opened the door and got out
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| But my benefactor made no move to follow
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| The driver dumped my guitar and rucksack at my feet
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| And waving away my thanks returned to the boot
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| Only to reappear with a pair of alloy crutches
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| Which he leaned against the rear wing of the Mercedes
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| He reached into the car and lifted my companion out
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| Only one leg, the second trouser leg neatly pinned beneath a vacant hip
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| «Monsieur, si vous voulez, ca sera un honneur pour nous
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| Si vous venez avec moi a la maison pour manger avec ma femme "
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| When I was 17 my mother, bless her heart, fulfilled my summer dream
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| She handed me the keys to the car
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| We motored down to Paris, fuelled with Dexedrine and booze
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| Got bust in Antibes by the cops
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| And fleeced in Naples by the wops
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| But everyone was kind to us, we were the English dudes
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| Our dads had helped them win the war
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| When we all knew what we were fighting for
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| But now an Englishman abroad is just a US stooge
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| The bulldog is a poodle snapping round the scoundrel’s last refuge
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| «Ma femme», thank God! |
| Monopod but not queer
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| The taxi drove off leaving us in the dim light of the swinging bulb
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| No building in sight
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| What the hell
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| «Merci monsieur»
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| «Bon, Venez!»
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| His faced creased in pleasure, he set off in front of me
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| Swinging his leg between the crutches with agonising care
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| Up the dusty side road into the darkness
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| After half an hour we’d gone maybe half a mile
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| When on the right I made out the low profile of a building
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| He called out in Arabic to announce our arrival
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| And after some scuffling inside a lamp was lit
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| And the changing angle of light in the wide crack under the door
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| Signalled the approach of someone within
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| The door creaked open and there, holding a biblical looking oil lamp
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| Stood a squat, moustached woman, stooped smiling up at us
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| She stood aside to let us in and as she turned
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| I saw the reason for her stoop
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| She carried on her back a shocking hump
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| I nodded and smiled back at her in greeting, fighting for control
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| The gentleness between the one-legged man and his monstrous wife
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| Almost too much for me
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| Is gentleness too much for us
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| Should gentleness be filed along with empathy |
| We feel for someone else’s child
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| Every time a smart bomb does its sums and gets it wrong
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| Someone else’s child dies and equities in defence rise
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| America, America, please hear us when we call
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| You got hip-hop, be-bop, hustle and bustle
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| You got Atticus Finch
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| You got Jane Russell
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| You got freedom of speech
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| You got great beaches, wildernesses and malls
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| Don’t let the might, the Christian right, fuck it all up
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| For you and the rest of the world
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| They talked excitedly
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| She went to take his crutches in routine of care
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| He chiding, gestured
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| We have a guest
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| She embarrassed by her faux pas
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| Took my things and laid them gently in the corner
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| «Du the?»
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| We sat on meagre cushions in one corner of the single room
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| The floor was earth packed hard and by one wall a raised platform
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| Some six foot by four covered by a simple sheet, the bed
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| The hunchback busied herself with small copper pots over an open hearth
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| And brought us tea, hot and sweet
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| And so to dinner
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| Flat, unleavened bread, + thin
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| Cooked in an iron skillet over the open hearth
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| Then folded and dipped into the soft insides of female sea urchins
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| My hostess did not eat, I ate her dinner
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| She would hear of nothing else, I was their guest
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| And then she retired behind a curtain
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| And left the men to sit drinking thimbles full of Arak
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| Carefully poured from a small bottle with a faded label
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| Soon she reappeared, radiant
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| Carrying in her arms their pride and joy, their child
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| I’d never seen a squint like that
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| So severe that as one eye looked out the other disappeared behind its nose
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| Not in my name, Tony, you great war leader you
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| Terror is still terror, whosoever gets to frame the rules
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| History’s not written by the vanquished or the damned
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| Now we are Genghis Khan, Lucretia Borghia, Son of Sam
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| In 1961 they took this child into their home
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| I wonder what became of them
|
| In the cauldron that was Lebanon
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| If I could find them now, could I make amends?
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| How does the story end?
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| And so to bed, me that is, not them
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| Of course they slept on the floor behind a curtain
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| Whilst I lay awake all night on their earthen bed
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| Then came the dawn and then their quiet stirrings
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| Careful not to wake the guest
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| I yawned in great pretence
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| And took the proffered bowl of water heated up and washed
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| And sipped my coffee in its tiny cup
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| And then with much «merci-ing» and bowing and shaking of hands
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| We left the woman to her chores
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| And we men made our way back to the crossroads
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| The painful slowness of our progress accentuated by the brilliant morning light
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| The dolmus duly reappeared
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| My host gave me one crutch and leaning on the other
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| Shook my hand and smiled
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| «Merci, monsieur,» I said
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| «De rien «» And merci a votre femme, elle est tres gentille «Giving up his other crutch
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| He allowed himself to be folded into the back seat again
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| «Bon voyage, monsieur,» he said
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| And half bowed as the taxi headed south towards the city
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| I turned North, my guitar over my shoulder
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| And the first hot gust of wind
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| Quickly dried the salt tears from my young cheeks |