| I don’t like humus, I hate long lines
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| Nosy neighbors and the nation blind
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| Chirpy news anchors alter my mood
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| I’m offended by buss words like awesome men do
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| I look like a train wreck, I feel like a blob
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| Till you get to know me, you may think I’m a snob
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| But I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been
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| I don’t eat sushi, I don’t smoke grass
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| I don’t wear pajamas, I don’t drive fast
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| I hate that all gossip and tassel shoes
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| Slick politicians, they give me the blues
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| I don’t ride in Limos, I don’t play golf
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| I don’t own a riffle that will blow your head off
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| But I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been
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| I’m riding that way from cradle to grave
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| I’m learning to feel my hands on the wheel
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| I love my friends, I love my wife
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| Four little babies are the light of my life
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| I love Sissy Spacek, I love God Clark
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| All the biscuits and gravy I can eat with a fork
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| I don’t wanna be famous, who gives a damn?
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| I just wanna be happy where ever I am
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| And I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been
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| I’m closer to heaven than I’ve ever been
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| Closer to heaven
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| Closer to heaven |