| Dismissed! |
| Rejected! |
| Publically humiliated! |
| Why, it’s more than I can bear.
|
| More beer?
|
| What for? |
| Nothing helps, I’m disgraced.
|
| Who, you? |
| Never! |
| Gaston, you’ve got to pull yourself together.
|
| (sung)
|
| Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston
|
| Looking so down in the dumps
|
| Every guy here’d like to be you, Gaston
|
| Even when taking your lumps
|
| There’s no man in town as admired as you
|
| You’re everyone’s favorite guy
|
| Everyone’s awed and inspired by you
|
| And it’s not very hard to see why
|
| No one’s slick as Gaston
|
| No one’s quick as Gaston
|
| No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston’s
|
| For there’s no man in town half as manly
|
| Perfect, a pure paragon!
|
| You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
|
| And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
|
| No one’s been like Gaston
|
| A king pin like Gaston
|
| No one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
|
| As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating!
|
| My, what a guy, that Gaston!
|
| Give five «hurrah's!» |
| Give twelve «hip-hip's!»
|
| Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips
|
| No one fights like Gaston
|
| Douses lights like Gaston
|
| In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston
|
| For there’s no one as burly and brawny
|
| As you see, I’ve got biceps to spare
|
| Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny
|
| That’s right!
|
| And every last inch of me’s covered with hair
|
| No one hits like Gaston
|
| Matches wits like Gaston
|
| In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
|
| I’m especially good at expectorating! |
| Ptooie!
|
| Ten points for Gaston!
|
| When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
|
| Every morning to help me get large
|
| And now that I’m grown, I eat five dozen eggs
|
| So I’m roughly the size of a barge
|
| No one shoots like Gaston
|
| Makes those beauts like Gaston
|
| Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
|
| I use antlers in all of my decorating!
|
| My, what a guy, Gaston! |