| One day the monkey jumps aboard, one day the black dog gets you
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| One Day the demons write your name in blood upon a ledger
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| But see the sun is shining as I step down on the pike
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| So pretty in my uniform of anti-look-alike
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| And goodbye halls of academe, I never could respect you
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| And loved ones, I’ll say fare you well, I surely will neglect you.
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| Watch Me Go Into the wide blue yonder
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| Watch Me Go Like a human cannonball
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| Watch Me Go With a mighty peal of thunder
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| And I’ll keep shouting till they lay me low
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| If it wasn’t for Dalwhinnie and all his reckless crew
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| I never would have learned to shake my fist and hullabaloo
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| If it wasn’t for the company I’d be talking to myself
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| Inside a padded 8 by 12, all on the National Health
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| And friends and kind relations, I’ll be writing very soon
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| The next time that you see me I’ll be halfway to the moon
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| Thank you dear Professor, for refocusing our eyes
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| And thank you Captain Sensible, so eloquent and wise
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| And Fotherington-Thomas, now you’re singing with the choir
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| But you gave us beef when we had none, of wood and string and wire
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| And for those who choose the twisty road, prefer it to the straight
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| Let joy beat out old misery, as love will conquer hate |