| I don’t want to be your friend anymore
|
| You’ve got fifty friends knocking at your door
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| Life is short so please understand
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| I’m fully qualified to be your man
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| You know zoology is up my street
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| And your anatomy is far from discreet
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| I’m good and ready for my entrance exam
|
| I’m fully qualified to be your man
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| I’ve been studying your every need
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| I’ve got statistics that’ll make you plead
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| I’ll put my thesis right in your hand
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| I’m fully qualified to be your man
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| Maroon room, perfumes of Araby
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| Sineads in braids in shades of Carnaby
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| Now there’s diplomas you can get in the mail
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| And there’s diplomas you can get in jail
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| But I’m a genius at being your fan
|
| I’m fully qualified to be your man
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| Crystal balls and shawls and lava lamps
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| I’m a counter culture vulture
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| Don’t put the damps on me
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| Now you’re my favorite subject or two
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| I’ve been really boning up on you
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| Let me know when it’s safe to land
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| I’m fully qualified to be your man |