| I was sitting in my easy chair
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| I was flipping between the game and the Ultimate Fight
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| I was setting my beer on this table
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| The kind that doubles as a lamp
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| And constantly reaching to pick it up
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| Was giving me a cramp
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| So I set my beer in the crease below my chest
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| As if to give my beer a little nest
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| My beer holder’s great and now I’m blessed
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| Cause it keeps working better than I could have ever guessed
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| My beer holder’s getting bigger everyday
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| It works better with each beer I put away
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| Look at here dear, I can set my beer right here and it stays
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| My beer holder’s getting bigger everyday
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| It’s a win-win deal the way that things in life go down
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| How good it feels to know it’s true without a doubt
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| It won’t spill in my lap even if I take a nap
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| I’ve probably done it know about a thousand times
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| With only one or three little mishaps
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| Now my wife doesn’t see the genius of my plan
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| How my holder holds a bottle, cup or can
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| I hope some day she won’t, won’t just roll her eyes
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| Cause with every beer I drink my sweet beer holder’s gaining size
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| My beer holder’s getting bigger everyday
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| It works better with each beer I put away
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| Look at here dear, I can set my beer right here and it stays
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| My beer holder’s getting bigger everyday
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| It’s a win-win deal the way that things in life go down
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| How good it feels
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| How my beer holder’s getting bigger everyday |