| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk tonight | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk tonight | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk in here | 
| Tonight’s the night we’re gonna get plastered | 
| Pissed off, maybe we’ll get laid, too | 
| Booze on your breath always makes girls horny | 
| So come on, boys, let’s chug a few | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk tonight | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk, oh yeah | 
| People pouring in the front door | 
| Most of them I’ve never seen in my life | 
| I hear the sound of windows breaking | 
| Who just lit the couch on fire? | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk tonight | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk tonight | 
| And if you’re coming here | 
| Don’t forget to have yourself a beer | 
| There’s two girls throwing up in the bathroom | 
| A good friend holds your hair back when you puke | 
| Tonight’s the night, so grab your whatever | 
| Lift your something, here’s a toast to you | 
| We’re all gonna get drunk | 
| Oh, we’re all gonna get drunk | 
| Oh, wait, we’re already drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk tonight | 
| Everybody’s drunk | 
| Everybody’s drunk, whoa | 
| La la la la la la la | 
| Uh, actually, I’m not drunk. | 
| At all | 
| La la la la la la la | 
| No, I’ve got to drive all these people home | 
| La la la la la la la | 
| Have a good time | 
| La la la! | 
| …assholes | 
| Hey, man, be careful | 
| Brush my shoes off | 
| Hey, I don’t feel so good | 
| Use the trash can! | 
| There is no trash can! |