Lyrics Hella Fights at the Crib - Reconcile

Hella Fights at the Crib

I said I wasn’t gonna write this but I feel Iike it could help somebody
Yeah, uh
I love my pops but my hair don’t brush the same
Sixteen, my momma heavy in the trailer, yeah
Sixteen, two kids, that’s hella pain
She’s sixteen, he can’t afford it
Momma told her to abort it
Thank God that wasn’t the story, yeah
When I’m runnin', ain’t no starve, yeah
Half-white, I was born losin', lost half of my family
And I ain’t even choosin'
In the trailer, I was hangin' with Guatemalans
When my cousin started seein' all the poverty
My momma cheat, my daddy cold, he beat his kids up
My momma leave, my daddy leave, they leave the kids, yeah
I told the doctor that I fell on the table like it was comin'
DCF came to the crib, we lied, said ain’t no problems
Ain’t tellin' they be fightin', cuttin' off the lights
I watch my momma stab my daddy in the side with a knife
I be wantin' to leave and run away, I wanna die
Could you spare me some advice?
'Cause it’s a lot, too much for eyes, yeah
I wanna die
'Cause it’s a lot so could you spare me some advice?
Hella drama at the crib, yeah
(Fear fightin' at the crib, I did something)
Street fightin' at the crib, yeah
(When they came at me, I ain’t wanna live)
I was tryin' a little hard, I was goin' through it
All the pressure, all the pain, I ain’t really wanna live
Fear fightin' at the crib, yeah
Make 'em wanna quit hard, let them fight for this
Pop Warner, I was playin' for the Rebels on the Peewee
My momma was cheatin' on the same field we was playin'
My pops tried to kill him, but they was cheatin' right and left
She never left her life, but I couldn’t swallow how she left
Told the dude with some money, left her kids in the process
My daddy got to my dome
I should have known all the things that he told me when I was twelve years old,
made me hate her
He made me choose sides and it was grimy
We was walkin' home from school and my little sister cryin'
I was fightin' at school and spent years in suspension
Got kicked, got jawed, started stealin', gettin' with it
(Nah, I ain’t still gettin' with it)
When I got home, he would beat us, my pops worked at the jail
Told me, «Strip» and beat my ass, handcuffed me to the rails, yeah
I wanna get away, I feel this gravity
Beat me with his belt until I’m grabbin' it
My momma gone, my daddy got these women in the crib
They be movin' in and they kids
For a second, then it end
Care about nothin' but playin' ball
And my momma didn’t call, so I don’t really wanna talk
My daddy losin' me, I got no respect for him
We’re beefin' every day
The school callin' and now the drama brewin'
I hate my house, I want out, I stay out late
I come home and ain’t no food in the fridge, nobody ate
Tenth grade, we was fightin', then he kicked me to the streets
I was young, I was dumb, full of anger, dead to me
Spit in my face, threw my clothes in the yard
I got to steppin'
Lived with my grandma, I got to steppin'
Hella drama at the crib, yeah (Ooh)
Street fightin' in the crib, yeah (Ooh)
I was tryin' a little hard, I was goin' through it
All the pressure, all the pain, I ain’t really wanna live
Fear fightin' at the crib, yeah
Make 'em wanna quit hard, let them fight for this
Fast-forward, I’m a father, still got anger inside
I love my kids and I don’t ever want to see them hate me
But I’ve got ways like my daddy and it frustrates me
All I see was broken relationships
Now me and my wife strugglin'
Will we make the decisions they made or learn from them?
I grew up without a God, how could I leave Him out now?
I feel empty without him, what would I ever go that route?
Pride got me in my feelings, fightin' and arguin'
Being hard for no reason, ti-tic-tac arguments
Bein' selfish, I swear I got no room to judge
That mirror get foggy, can’t see myself or feel the love
And I hurt hella people in the process
Fightin' for the piece that gives my soul joy
God, be the difference that makes me different
I told my wife I got things I might never share
I don’t want what I grew up in, but we headin' there
I know my daughter hear and see it at all
I don’t want her to witness what I went through
Or what I did
But I can’t lie, I be failin'
This joint hard
Is that the reason why my momma left?
All this frustration, is that the reason why my daddy is?
I know God can help us together but how you make that real?
Gotta fight the steel floor, I wanna make that real
My momma’s here
And what you do with the love that you gave me?
You forgave me and brought Hilly
And saw me in live in it