| When Karl Marx was a boy
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| He took a hard look around
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| He saw people were starving all over the place
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| While others were painting the town
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| The public spirited boy
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| Became a public spirited man
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| So he worked very hard and he read everything
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| Until he came up with a plan
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| There’ll be no exploitation
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| Of the worker or his kin
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| No discrimination 'cause of the color of your skin
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| No more private property
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| It would not be allowed
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| No one could rise too high
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| No one could sink too low
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| Or go under completely like some we all know
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| If Marx were living today
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| He’d be rolling around in his grave
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| And if I had him here in my mansion on the hill
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| I’d tell him a story t’would give his old heart a chill
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| It’s something that happened to me
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| I’d say, Karl I recently stumbled
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| Into a new family
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| With two little children in school
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| Where all little children should be
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| I went to the orientation
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| All the young mommies were there
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| Karl, you never have seen such a glorious sight
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| As these beautiful women arrayed for the night
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| Just like countesses, empresses, movie stars and queens
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| And they’d come there with men much like me
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| Froggish men, unpleasant to see
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| Were you to kiss one, Karl
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| Nary a prince would there be
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| Oh Karl the world isn’t fair
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| It isn’t and never will be
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| They tried out your plan
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| It brought misery instead
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| If you’d seen how they worked it
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| You’d be glad you were dead
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| Just like I’m glad I’m living in the land of the free
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| Where the rich just get richer
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| And the poor you don’t ever have to see
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| It would depress us, Karl
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| Because we care
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| That the world still isn’t fair |