| Hasn’t anybody seen me lately
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| I’ll tell you why
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| Hasn’t anybody seen me lately
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| I’ll tell you why
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| I caught something made me so sick
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| That I thought that I would die
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| And I almost did too
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| First my knees begin to tremble
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| My heart begin to pound
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| First my knees begin to tremble
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| My heart begin to pound
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| It was arrhythmic and out of tune
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| I lost my equilibrium
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| And fell face down upon the ground
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| As I lay there on that cold pavement
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| A tear ran down my face
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| 'Cause I thought I was dying
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| You boys know I’m not a religious man
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| But I sent a prayer out just in case
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| You never know
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| Lo and behold almost immediately
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| I had reason to believe my prayer had been heard in a very special place
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| 'Cause I heard this sound
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| Ooooh
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| Yes
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| Ooooh
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| Yes, it was harps and angels
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| Harps and angels coming near
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| I was too sick to roll over and see them
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| But I could hear them singing ever so beautifully in my ear
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| Then the sound began to subside
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| And they sounded like background singers
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| And a voice come down from the heavens above
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| It was a voice full of anger from the Old Testament
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| And a voice full of love from the New One
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| And the street lit up like it was the middle of the day
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| And I lay there quiet and listened to what that voice had to say
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| He said, «You ain’t been a good man
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| You ain’t been a bad man
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| But you’ve been pretty bad
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| Lucky for you this ain’t your time
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| Someone very dear to me has made another clerical error
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| And we’re here on a bit of a wild goose chase
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| But I want to tell you a few things
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| That’ll hold you in good stead when it is your time
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| So you better listen close
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| I’m only going to say this once
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| When they lay you on the table
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| Better keep your business clean
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| 'Fore they lay you on the table
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| Better keep your business clean
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| Don’t want no back stabbing, ass grabbing
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| You know exactly what I mean
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| Alright girls — we’re outta here»
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| Ooooh
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| «Encore. |
| Encore.»
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| Ooooh
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| «Tres bien
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| Encore»
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| And off they went into the night
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| Almost immediately I felt better
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| And I come round to see you boys
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| 'Cause you know we ain’t living right
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| And while it was fresh
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| I wanted to tell you what he told me
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| He said, «When they lay you on the table
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| Better keep your business clean
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| When they lay you on the table
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| Better keep your business clean
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| Else there won’t be no harps and angels coming for you
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| It’ll be trombones, kettle drums, pitchforks and tambourines»
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| Sing it like they did for me one time
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| Ooooh — yes
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| Ooooh — beautiful
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| Wish I spoke French
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| So actually the main thing about this story is for me
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| There really is an afterlife
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| And I hope to see all of you there
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| Let’s go get a drink |