Lyrics Dear Diary - Ramirez

Dear Diary

Thinking bout' $uicide everyday
I’ve been through this route (I've been through this route)
What’s my life about
Popping pills and living life full of doubt (life full of doubt)
Praying on the edge my bed
Hoping I could get responses
Battle my illness alone, crying a river I’m honest
Oh no
I don’t know which way to go
I don’t even have my home
In the dark is where I roam
I’ve been stuck and all alone
Popping these pills and I’m asking God why
Do I have urges to just wanna die
Receiving no answers cos' God is a lie
Look in my eyes
See pain that’s inside
I done lost a couple friends
For the way, a nigga been acting
No faking
No pretending
I just really wanna fucking end this
Oh no
Grabbing my gun and I point at my dome
I’m telling myself
«Be easy, let go don’t pull on the trigger there’s much to hold on»
But these pills they kick in and I just can’t move on
Lost in my ways and I try to forget
All of this sadness and all this regret
I look to my mom and I tell her like this
Yo' son is a fuck up
Yo' son can’t do shit
My Momma telling me I’ll be okay (I'll be okay)
She don’t understand I’m living day by day (day by day)
Pop another pill to feel ok (to feel ok)
Thinking bout' Suicide everyday
Stand in closet
I’m tying a noose
You living a lie
I’m stuck in the truth
Faking a smile but depression the root
I try to be happy but I can’t it’s a fluke
Love for my friends but they don’t know I’m through
I don’t see no sun cause I stay in my room
I look in the mirror
The vision gets clearer
Anxiety, got me trapped in this shit too
My Momma telling me I’ll be okay (I'll be okay)
She don’t understand I’m living day by day (day by day)
Pop another pill to feel ok (to feel ok)
Thinking bout' $uicide everyday
I’ve been through this route (I've been through this route)
What’s my life about
Popping pills and living life full of doubt (life full of doubt)
Praying on the edge my bed
Hoping I could get responses
Battle my illness alone, crying a river I’m honest
Oh no
I don’t know which way to go
I don’t even have my home
In the dark is where I roam
I’ve been stuck and all alone