| Make your money with a suit and tie
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| Make your money with shrewd denial
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| Make your money expert advice
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| If you can wing it
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| Make your money with a power ply
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| Make your money with a buyout bribe
|
| You can lie
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| As long as you mean it
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| I’m not king of comedy
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| Grease the pig, give a squeeze
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| (Squeeze me)
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| Make your money with exploitation
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| Make it holy illumination
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| Say a prayer at every station
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| Don’t forget to ask for mercy
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| Make your money with a pretty face
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| Make it easy with product placement
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| Make it charged with controversy
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| I’m straight, I’m queer, I’m bi
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| I’m not king of comedy
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| I’m not your magazine
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| I’m not your television
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| Make your money, make it rich
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| Make it young and make it quick
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| Make your money on the jukebox, baby
|
| Let’s pick up sticks
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| Make your enemies make your moves
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| Make your critics fumble through
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| Make it smart and make it schmooze
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| Make it look easy
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| I’m not king of comedy
|
| I’m not your magazine
|
| I’m not your television
|
| I’m not your movie screen
|
| I’m not commodity
|
| I’m not commodity
|
| I’m not commodity
|
| (All together now) |