| And now, ladies and gentlemen
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| The Keeper of the Keys
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| The Countess of the Clink
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| The Mistress of Murderers' Row
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| Matron Mama Morton!
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| Ask any of the chickies in my pen
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| They’ll tell you I’m the biggest mother hen
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| I love them all, and all of them love me
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| Because the system works: the system called reciprocity
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| Got a little motto, always sees me through
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| When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you
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| There’s a lot of favors I’m prepared to do
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| You do one for Mama, she’ll do one for you
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| They say that life is tit for tat, and that’s the way I live
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| So I deserve a lot of tat for what I’ve got to give
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| Don’t you know that this hand washes that one, too?
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| When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you!
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| If you want my gravy, pepper my ragù
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| Spice it up for Mama: she’ll get hot for you
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| When they pass that basket, folks contribute to
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| You put in for Mama, she’ll put out for you
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| The folks atop the ladder are the ones the world adores
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| So boost me up my ladder, kid, and I’ll boost you up yours
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| Let’s all stroke together, like the Princeton crew
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| When you’re strokin' Mama, Mama’s stroking you!
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| So what’s the one conclusion I can bring this number to?
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| When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you! |