| I’m just a typical American boy
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| From a typical American town
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| I believe in God and Senator Dodd
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| And an keepin' old Castro down
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| And when it came my time to serve
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| I knew better dead than red
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| But when I got to my old draft board
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| Buddy, this is what I said
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| Sarge, I’m only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
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| And I always carry a purse
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| I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
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| My asthma’s getting worse
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| Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
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| My poor old invalid aunt
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| Besides, I ain’t no fool, and I’m goin' to school
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| And I’m workin' in a defense plant
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| I’ve got a dislocated disc and a racked up back
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| I’m allergic to flowers and bugs
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| And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits
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| And I’m addicted to a thousand drugs
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| I got the weakness woes, I can’t touch my toes
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| I can hardly reach my knees
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| And if the enemy ever came close to me
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| Well, I’d probably start to sneeze
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| Sarge, I’m only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
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| And I always carry a purse
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| I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
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| My asthma’s getting worse
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| Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
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| My poor old invalid aunt
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| Besides, I ain’t no fool, I’m a goin' to school
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| And I’m workin' in a defense plant
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| I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies
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| But I think you gotta see
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| That if someone’s gotta go over there
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| That someone isn’t me
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| So, have a ball, Sarge, watch 'em fall
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| Yeah, kill me a thousand or so
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| And if you ever get a war without any gore
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| Well, I’ll be the first to go
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| Sarge, I’m only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
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| And I always carry a purse
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| I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
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| My asthma’s getting worse
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| Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
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| I got to water my rubber tree plant
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| Besides, I ain’t no fool, I’m a goin' to school
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| And I’m workin' in a defense plant
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| Sarge, I’m only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
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| And I always carry a purse
|
| I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat
|
| My asthma’s getting worse
|
| Consider my career, my sweetheart dear
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| My poor old invalid aunt
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| Besides, I ain’t no fool, I’m a goin' to school
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| And I’m workin' in a defense plant |