| Well, once I heard some people say, «if you gotta travel
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| There’s just one way, you gotta leave the ground, gotta go
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| Through the air, gotta find a pilot and pay your fare
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| You gotta sail through the sky
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| In other words, you gotta fly»
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| Yes, statistics show it’s the way to go
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| Well, it’s safer than your car, you know;
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| It’s safer than your home, safter than your street
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| About the safes place to put your feet;
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| Statistics don’t lie…
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| But statistics don’t die, either
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| Well, once I heard bob dylan say:
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| You gotta take a train -- it’s the only way;
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| Well, nothin' ever happens to trains at all --
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| There was just one accident he could recall:
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| A plane crashed into it…
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| People flying in all directions, then
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| One day when the sky was blue
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| I boarded a plane and off we flew
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| Looked out the window, insurance in my hand
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| Just like columbus searching searching for land;
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| Swearin' I’d never fly again…
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| Just like the last time
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| Then one of the stewardesses ambled by
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| And suddenly I wasn’t afraid to die;
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| She brought me coffee, pillows and tea
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| Said, «you're as safe as you can be»
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| Said there’s nothing to worry about…
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| Then she flew out the door somebody forgot to close
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| Right
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| The plane kept going higher and higher
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| I could swear both the wings were on fire
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| So I opened the cockpit door
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| And the pilot was layin' on the floor
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| With the other stewardess…
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| She said, «fly now and pay later»…
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| Then the plane dropped down about a mile or two
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| She lurched about, I swore I was through;
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| My stomach was heavin' -- it was tied in a knot --
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| Little paper bag was all I got --
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| That’s the bag I’m in… pilot said we hit an air
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| Pocket.
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| Must’ve been a pocket with an awful big hole in it…
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| Well, at last the trip was near the end
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| The airport was comin' round the bend
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| But all my anxious eyes could see
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| Was a thousand planes in the vicinity;
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| They was landin' and leavin' and wavin' at each other
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| Wing to win and brother to brother
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| The pilot was swearin' and swervin' around
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| But he said, «don't worry, we have radar somewhere on the ground»
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| I wasn’t worried… i was crawlin' up the aisle
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| Screamin': «jesus saves»
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| The trip didn’t do me too much harm
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| But I did spend a year on the happy-farm;
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| They couldn’t understand why I kissed the ground
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| Chewed the concrete and swallowed it down;
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| Sure tasted good… like laguardia dirt should. |
| /pre |