| I know you hope to go to the big you-know-where
|
| And you’re here to try to earn your ticket there
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| Better listen now or you haven’t got a prayer
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| Let me break it down, ooh
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| If you want someone to love ya
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| Babe, you gotta look like me (Like me)
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| Gotta be flawless, pure perfection, not for shelf (Not a shelf)
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| And my first impression of ya, as far as I can see (Can see)
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| Is you simply can’t compete with my sweet self (Your sweet self)
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| Is your hair as thick as mine? |
| (No)
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| Are your arms as pumped as mine? |
| (No)
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| Are the moves you got as drop-dead hot as this?
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| (No, no, they ain’t)
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| Is your profile half this fine? |
| (No)
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| If not, let me hit you with the bottom line
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| Got to measure up or you won’t get eternal bliss (Ooh)
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| So let me be honest (Honest)
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| I got to be honest (Honest)
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| I’m gonna be honest (Ah yeah)
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| Whether you like it or not
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| You’re much too short (Too short)
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| You’re way too thin (Too thin)
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| Is that a blemish on your double chin? |
| (Oh man)
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| Don’t ever walk a runway (No)
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| Or man a kissing booth (Mwah)
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| You’re U-G-L-Y (Ugly)
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| And that’s the ugly truth
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| You ugly, ah ah, you ugly
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| You ugly, ah ah, you ugly
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| Now perhaps I’ve just upset ya
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| But people, let’s get real (Get real)
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| It’s the most exclusive club that you want in (Want in)
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| There’s a price to pay, you bet ya
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| Hey, you gotta look ideal (Ideal)
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| Or you’ll end up in the old recycling bin (Recycling bin)
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| Is your smile as white as this? |
| (No)
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| Are your glutes as tight as this? |
| (No)
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| Then they’ll trash it and they’ll mash it into glue (Ooh, poor poor you)
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| Just a flaw as slight as this
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| Just one tiny detail, it’s a big ol' mess
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| Oops, oh well, I’m sorry, sayonara, too-da-loo (Ooh)
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| But hey, I can help ya (Oh yeah)
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| Well, possibly help ya (Oh yeah)
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| Well, hopefully help ya (Oh yeah)
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| But most of you, probably not
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| Your head’s too small (Too small)
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| Your neck’s too long (Too long)
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| Your nose starts right but then ends up all wrong (So wrong)
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| Mm, that tiny freckle (Ugh)
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| Ooh, that crooked tooth
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| You’re U-G-L-Y (Ugly)
|
| And that’s the ugly truth
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| U-G-L-Y, face like that, why even try?
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| U-G-L-Y, back that hip like triple fry
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| U-G-L-Y, sorry if that makes you cry
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| You’re ugly, so ugly, so—
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| Wait!
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| Look at you, look at you, look at you
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| I ain’t seen nothing like you before
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| I mean, words fail me, I mean I’m tongue-tied
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| I mean I’m speechless, baby
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| What’s a thing like you doing in a place like this?
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| I gotta tell ya, girl, you’re pretty (Pretty ugly)
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| And that’s the ugly truth
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| U-G-L-Y, heard your looks make you cry
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| Yeah, so sorry 'bout the truth
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| U-G-L-Y, cross my heart and hope to die
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| Woo, 'cause that’s the ugly truth
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| U-G-L-Y, love to kiss my lunch goodbye
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| Yeah, you’re U-G-L-Y
|
| And that’s the ugly truth |