| All the dreams you’re having
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| You stole them all from me
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| I was having dreams like that
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| Back in 1973
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| Groovy Boo is banging the ivories
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| In his ancient overcoat
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| Stuffing all his rage and anger
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| Down that old piano’s throat
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| Accidents will happen
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| That’s what accidents are for
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| Accidents will happen
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| And an accident is just an accident
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| I walk through the swinging door
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| See my old girl Mabel
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| Her jawbone hits the floor
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| And her eyeballs roll around the table
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| In a clever act of misdirection
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| I manage with some finesse
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| To scale the ladders in her stockings
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| And creep into her dress
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| Accidents will happen
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| We’ve all had 'em many times before
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| And coincidences are just accidents
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| Nothing less and nothing more
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| I come around when she expects it the least
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| She always looks so strange and tragic
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| She comes on like some juju priest
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| Laying down her own brand of magic
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| She tells me that she’ll be true
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| She ain’t the type to keep her promises
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| I used to be down with the faithful man
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| Now I’m hanging with the doubting Thomases
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| 'Cause accidents keep happening
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| This old world was born from one
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| There are servants they don’t govern
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| And I don’t put too much faith in them
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| Well, let me tell you a little more about Mabel
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| She is shaped like an inverted duck pond chair
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| I roll out my tongue when she walks past
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| Fix her with my famous jelly-eyed stare
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| Her husband is a Cro-magnon man with a magnum
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| He recites the second amendment, Jim
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| Well, accidents will happen
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| I’m hoping one might happen to him
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| We’re accidents waiting to happen
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| You know they’ll be happening for all time
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| While you’re having yours
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| I’ll be having mine
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| Maybe you and I will get it together
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| You and I, we will get in together
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| You and I, we will get it together
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| You and I, we will get it together |