Lyrics The Naval Medley - Monty Python

The Naval Medley

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy.
It’s divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don’t take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back.
(Girls)
It’s fun to own your own vagina
It’s great to have your friendly thatch
Your minge, your twat, your kitty cat
Your nest, your nasty or your snatch
It’s great to have a monkey furrow
Your finger pie, your lunch box or your catch
Your camel toe, your bearded clam
Your bottom at the front
Your monkey minge
Your muffin
Or your old Sir Berkely Hunt
Your honeypot
Your hairy friend
But never call it cunt
Or we won’t come back
(Boys)
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a bottom
Isn’t it frightfully good to have an ass
It’s swell to own a fushy
It’s divine to have a scut
From the skinniest little buttocks
To the worlds largest butt
Three cheers for your posterior or anus
Hooray for your lovely sit upon
Your fundament, your fanny, your cheeky little dear,
Your rump, your hauch, your hams,
Your stern, your fanny or your rear
But be careful how you handle it or you’ll be caught I fear
And you wont come back