| Mr. Jones knows The Stones
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| Rock 'n' roll is in his blood and in his bones
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| Shines his shoes, kicks some ass
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| Counts the booze and laminates his pass
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| Does some wizz, loves the biz
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| Your Eric Clapton’s and your Nancy’s and your Sids
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| Mr. Jones helped me understand
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| The worthless piece of lowlife that I am
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| Changed the rules took control
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| Bribing the ref and widening the goals
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| Mr. J’s master plan
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| Fifty ways to patronize the fans
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| Life is cheap, buy some now
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| Satisfy the sheep, sacrifice the sacred cow
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| Born to boogie, disco Tex
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| Mr. Groovy, the God of groupie sex
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| Born to boogie, knows the Stones
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| The only thing in common between me and Mr. Jones
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| Verbal gymnastics can’t help you now
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| We’ve got fifty tons plastic
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| We’re gonna laminate your house
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| Born to boogie, disco Tex
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| Mr. Groovy, the God of groupie sex
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| Born to boogie, knows The Stones
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| The only thing in common between me and Mr. Jones
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| Mr. Jones, super cool
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| While you were out
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| We were pissing in your pool |