| Internet relationships are not real
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| Your heart people steal but identities conceal
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| So here’s a tale of warning for girls and boys
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| Laptop computers can be dangerous toys
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| In the chat room, I inspect. |
| Who’s here tonight? |
| ASL check
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| I’m 20/f from the UK. |
| Send me an IM and I’ll make your day
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| I’m 22 and my name is Daryl
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| Nice to meet you Daryl my name is Carol
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| What do you like Carol?
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| I like to go to shows. |
| I collect comic books and vintage clothes
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| What do you like?
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| I like to skate. |
| I play rock guitar, but I’m not that great
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| I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late
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| I live in San Francisco and hang on the Haight
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| Do you like the Golden Gate?
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| I did when I was eight
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| Maybe I can come and visit?
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| Maybe you should wait
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| See I’m really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife
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| I weight 300 pounds and I really hate my life
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| Are you serious?
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| Yes
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| Well, I’ve got a secret too. |
| I’m not 20 years old, I’m really 32
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| I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue
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| You lied to me Carol
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| Well, you lied to me too
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| It’s not normal to have an Internet girlfriend.
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| Online relationships are really just pretend
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| Unplug your heart, upgrade your system.
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| Get, get off the Internet
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| Bob went on MySpace for hours a day.
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| Talking to girls from Moscow to LA
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| But people can surprise you from behind a screen
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| Listen to this verse and you’ll see what I mean
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| Hi, I’m Susie, I like your profile
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| I checked out your pics and I like your smile
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| Sounds good Susie, I’ll be your friend
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| We can message each other again and again
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| Comment on my pics and post on my page
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| Join my groups and guess my age!
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| You must be 18, how could you not?
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| You can’t be in high school you’re just too hot
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| Let me send you pics for your personal collection
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| I hope they inspire you and give you a smile
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| Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene
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| The cops showed up at his door — she was only 16
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| If you don’t believe us here’s a final story
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| About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lori
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| Behind the monitor, truth is hidden from your eyes
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| Marcus didn’t know but he was in for a surprise
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| We’ve been dating for a while but let’s cut to the chase
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| I don’t know what you look like, and I want to see your face
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| But what does it matter? |
| You know who I am inside
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| What if you’re not a woman and this whole time you lied?
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| You got me there, I’m not really a female
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| I’m a guy who pretends to be a girl through email
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| So this is why it’s bad to meet women online
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| Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time!
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| Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships) |