Lyrics You're Nothing Without Me - Martin Smith, Roger Allam

You're Nothing Without Me

STINE:
You are some gumshoe
You just don’t think well
Get this, dumb gumshoe,
You come from my inkwell
Is your mouth lonely
With one foot in there
Stone, your brain only
Holds thoughts i put in there
Just what you are i’ll spell out
You are a novel pain
One speck of lint that fell out
The last time that i picked my brain
STONE:
You are so jealous
Of my track record
Tolstoy, do tell us Your feeble hack record
Your weak knees brand you
Soft and unstable
One small threat and you
Fold like a card table
You drool at my adventures
Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword
BOTH:
You’re nothing without me A no-one who’d go undefined
You wouldn’t exist
You’d never be missed
STINE:
I tell you you’re out of my mind
BOTH:
A show off, a blowhard
You’re equal parts hot air and gall
And no one would doubt me Without me you’re nothing at all
STINE:
You’re in my plot
I’m still your creator
I call each shot
I’m your private dic-tator
STONE:
You are so thick, you
Eat, breathe, sleep fiction
I’m your meal ticket
Knee-deep in cheap fiction
STINE:
You gloating ignoramus
You haven’t any shame
STONE:
Hey, i’m a famous shamus
And most people don’t know your name
BOTH:
You’re nothing without me Without me you’d just disappear
Right into thin air
And no one would care
Or notice you were there
A puppet, an upstart
A loser who’s destined to fall
I’m everything you always wanted to be Let’s deal with the issue:
You wish you were me You’re nothing without me Without me you’re nothing …
(To prove his dominance over STONE, STINE resumes typing,
reactivating MUNOZ, who steps back into the light)
MUNOZ:
(Spoken, to STONE)
Let’s go!
STONE:
Manny, wait!
MUNOZ:
I said, keep my name out of your mouth!
(MUNOZ punches STONE hard, in the stomach, sending STONE to his knees.
STONE stares at STINE, a character betrayed)
STONE:
You bastard!
(STINE, ignoring him, types four letters)
STINE:
«Fade…»
(Types three more letters)
«Out.»
(And the LIGHTS do just that, on MUNOZ and STONE. Then:)
STINE:
(Sings, triumphantly)
You’re nothing without me Without me you’re nothing at all