| I can barely feel the sheets with all these crumbs down in my bed
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| How can I get to sleep with all this buzzin' in my head
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| And who’d have ever thought I’d not complain about a mess
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| Serves me right I guess, this is what I get
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| For eatin' crackers with my gin
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| And drinkin' in my Sunday dress
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| The telephone is by the bottle which is always by my bed
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| From time to time I give it a rattle to make sure that it’s not dead
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| I will wait here for your call till I run out of cigarettes
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| I love to play the part of the damsel in distress
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| Flickin' ashes in my coffee
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| Drinkin' in my Sunday dress
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| Well I’ve been on the road to this and I’ve been on the way to this
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| But who’da think it’d come to this
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| Don’t let on you’ve seen me like this
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| My old transistor’s sounding just as twangy as a Fender
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| My radiator growls like Elvis after Sunday dinner
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| I’ve drained my last tequila and I’ve thrown away the blender
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| I’ve poured out all the wine, from now on nothing but the best
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| Cognac and Patsy Cline
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| While drinkin' in my Sunday dress
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| Well I’ve been on the road to this and I’ve been on the way to this
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| I surely ain’t a hypocrite
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| I’ve had my fun and now I must confess
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| Our reverend is a kingly soul, repents ‘em on a dime
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| His bible is not inked in gold, he is not the cheatin' kind
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| One Sunday after meetin' I was in the greetin' line
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| He said I’ve seen you from the altar
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| Gulpin' down communion wine
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| Just remember who’s beside you when it’s no business of mine |