Lyrics It Doesn't Get Better Than This - Marc Shaiman

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

Wilbur: Spoken- «Tracy, my little petunia, even I used
to get discouraged about the future.
Luckily, I had a Wonderful family to turn to.»
When I was a tot not much older than three,
My father would sit me on his one good knee.
He hacked and he coughed from those three packs a day,
But he still found the lung-power to say:
«Ohhh, the… future looks dark, may be troubles ahead.
You at least have tomorrow but I may be dead.»
Then he yelled from the can taking his final piss:
«Kid!
it doesn’t get better than this!»
Wilbur: Spoken- «Feel better, Tracy?»
Tracy: Spoken- «Um… Sorta…»
Wilbur: Spoken- «Alright, then, listen to this!»
My mother loved dope, and tobacco she’d chew.
Each morning at breakfast she’d knock back a few.
She walked me to school with her eyes shiny red;
I can still smell her breath as she said:
«Ohhh, the… future looks bright, Wilbur, don’t make a fuss.»
Then she stepped off the curb, and got hit by a bus.
So, don’t wait for the future.
It’s all hit or miss.
Kid, it doesn’t get better than this.
Oh, No!
Don’t count your troubles.
Things may take a turn for the worse.
Life keeps sticking you up, till' they’re picking you up in a hearse.
Oh, Nurse!
My uncle wore raincoats though it never rained.
He showed off the lining, till' someone complained.
When he got arrested, he said: «What the hell!»
And he wrote me this note from his cell:
«Ohhh, the… future looked grim when the judge gave me life,
But I’ve hung up my raincoat 'cause I found a wife.
Yes, Herman and I live in pure wedded bliss.
Kid, it doesn’t get better than this.»
Sooo, your… future looks bleak and you can’t find your smile.
Baby, life’s just a joke, why not laugh for a while?
Now, how 'bout a hug?
Give your old man a kiss!
Tracy: Spoken- «Daddy…»
'Cause it doesn’t get better than this.
No, it doesn’t… get better… than this…