| Now this is the story of Jack and Jill
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| And I don’t mean the couple who went up the hill
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| I just mean a couple o' lovers that live next door
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| And they’re always battlin' and I’m tryin' to keep the score
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| They’re always
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| Pettin' and pokin' and
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| Jabbin' and jokin' and
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| Cuein' and crackin' and
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| Wooin' and wackin'
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| They keep neckin' and knockin'
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| Singin' and sockin' an'
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| Squawkin' and squeezin' an'
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| Burnin' and freezin'
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| Why, he holds her hands as long as he’s able
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| But when he lets go, she bops him with a table
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| They start right in
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| Pattin' and pinchin' and
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| Cloudin' and clinchin'
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| They’re enjoying themselves, havin' a good time
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| Now Reverend Green thought he’d call one day
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| On this nicely newly weds across the way
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| But just as the pastor knocked on the door
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| A straight right connected; | 
| «Mop,» he hit the floor
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| They was pettin' and poppin' and
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| Bangin' and boppin'
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| Cooin' and kissin' and
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| Hittin' and missin'
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| They kept on groovin' and grievin' and
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| Lovin' and leavin'
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| Kickin' and cacklin' and
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| Ticklin' and tacklin'
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| Now one night a neighbor tried some intervention
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| But one short jab knocked out his good intention
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| They started right in, stewin' and stabbin' and
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| Jivin' and jabbin'
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| Havin' a good time
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| Now once a lion escaped from a circus train
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| He strayed in Jack and Jill’s domain
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| Just then they got in a towerin' rage
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| Lion took one look and jumped back in his cage
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| They started in swattin' and swingin' and
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| Pottin' and playin'
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| Stompin' and stabbin' and
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| Groovin' and grabbin'
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| They kept dancin' and duckin'
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| Trippin' and truckin'
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| Plottin' and pleadin' and
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| Bangin' and bleedin'
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| Her mother said, «I'll go right In there and fetch her»
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| But mom came out riding on a stretcher
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| They started right in
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| Hittin' and holdin'
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| Faintin' and foldin'
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| They was enjoying themselves, havin' a good time
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| Now once a reporter called on the wife
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| Just to gather some data on her hectic life
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| She told him she’d never found time for books
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| She’s always busy duckin' left hooks
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| They was always swattin' and swingin' and
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| Sockin' and singin' and
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| Cuttin' and cuddlin' and
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| Messin' and muddlin' they kept on
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| Fondlin' and fussin' and
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| Kissin' and cussin' and
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| Tappin' and teasin' and
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| Squattin' and squeezin'
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| Once a voice called out, «Stop! | 
| I’m the law»
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| But all he stopped was a haymaker to the jaw
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| They started in jivin' and jumpin' and trobbin' and thumpin'
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| They was enjoying themselves
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| You see they were in love
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| Ain’t married life wonderful?
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| Hey, will somebody call Dr. Kildare?
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| Is Dr. Christian in the house?
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| Huh? |