| Now here’s a little story
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| To tell it is a must
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| About an unsung hero
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| That moves away your dust
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| Some people make a fortune
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| Others earn a mint
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| My old man don’t earn much
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| In fact he’s flippin' skint
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| Oh, my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor-blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| He looks a proper nana
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| In his great big hobnail boots
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| He’s got such a job to pull them up That he calls 'em daisy roots
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| Some folks give tips at Christmas
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| And some of them forget
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| So when he picks their bins up He spills some on the step
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| Now one old man got nasty
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| And to the council wrote
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| Next time my old man went 'round there
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| He punched him up the throat
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| Oh my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor-blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| Lonnie: I say, I say, Les.
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| Les: Yes?
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| Lonnie: I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin
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| Les: Well how do you do know he’s a police dog?
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| Lonnie: He had a policeman with him
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| Though my old man’s a dustman
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| He’s got an 'eart of gold
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| He got married recently
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| Though he’s eighty-six years old
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| We said «'Ere, hang on, Dad,
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| You’re getting past your prime»
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| He said «Well, when you get to my age
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| It helps to pass the time.»
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| Oi! |
| My old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor-blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| Lonnie: I say, I say, I say!
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| Les: Huh?
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| Lonnie: My dustbin’s full of lilies.
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| Les: Well throw 'em away then!
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| Lonnie: I can’t: Lily’s wearing them.
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| Now one day whilst in a hurry
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| He missed a lady’s bin
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| He hadn’t gone but a few yards
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| When she chased after him
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| «What game do you think you’re playing?»
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| She cried right from the 'eart
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| «You've missed me, am I too late?»
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| «No, jump up on the cart!»
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| Oi! |
| My old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor-blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| Lonnie: I say, I say, I say!
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| Les: Not you again!
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| Lonnie: My dustbin’s absolutely full with toadstools.
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| Les: How do you know it’s full?
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| Lonnie: 'Cause there’s not mushroom inside.
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| He found a tiger’s head one day
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| Nailed to a piece of wood
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| The tiger looked like miserable
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| But I suppose he should
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| Just then from out a window
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| A voice began to wail
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| It said «Oi! |
| Where’s me tiger’s head?»
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| «Four foot from his tail.»
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| Oh my old man’s a dustman
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| He wears a dustman’s hat
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| He wears cor-blimey trousers
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| And he lives in a council flat
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| Next time you see a dustman
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| Looking all pale and sad
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| Don’t kick him in the dustbin
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| It might be my old dad |