| Loudly the festivities ring, the kitchen hand shouts, the cabin crew sing,
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| Rum soaked chips and rum soaked dip,
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| Welcome to the Lagerstein ship!
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| Firstmate comes out of the hold, his eyes pried wide, his face falls cold,
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| The booze stores are completely empty,
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| No tobacco, no ale, no whiskey!
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| Welcome to the nightmare ship!
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| The lookout can’t see straight — the first time in years,
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| The cabin is silent without crewman cheers,
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| The wench is a man, turns out we’re all queer,
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| The cabin is empty we’re all out of beer
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| Obviously this is Mother Junkst’s fault, the mate drinks rum like its about to
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| turn old,
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| To the end of the plank he’ll skip,
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| Get the fuck off the Lagerstein ship!
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| Rackers was in on it too, he chundered before, he smells like booze,
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| He can ride the dingy to quay,
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| Get tobacco, get ale, get whiskey!
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| Welcome to the Lagerstein ship!
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| The lookout can’t see straight — the first time in years
|
| The cabin is silent without crewman cheers
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| The wench is a man, turns out we’re all queer
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| Hold up, here’s an esky…
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| We just found our beer! |