| Third time writing you a letter, getting darker
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| I’m getting worse and worse
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| I had a reason for the writing, but trying to exorcise my demons didn’t work
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| To try to rid me of the worry and to purge you out of wonder for the future and
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| the hurt
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| I wrote a poem:
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| I’m increasingly aware I’ve been painting things in gray
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| I’m increasingly alarmed by the pain
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| I’m increasingly alive to every cloud up in the sky
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| I’m increasingly afraid it’s going to rain
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| See, lately I’ve hated me for over-playing pain
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| For always pointing fingers out at everyone
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| But who in fact is guilty and for picking at my scabs
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| Like they could never break but they can
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| And they will and I’ll spill like a leak in the basement
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| A drunk in the night choir
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| Just slur all those words to make deadbeat that sweet old refrain
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| Self-inflicting my pain and therein lies the real shame:
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| I heard when they were picking through the rubble
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| Finding limbs, they sang hymns, but now what of what I sing?
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| The worry, the wonder, the shortness of days
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| The replacement for purpose
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| The things swept away by
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| The worry, the wonder, my slightness of frame
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| The replacements for feeling
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| The casual lay. |
| And
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| The worst of the wildlife wears clothes and can pray and
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| The worry, the wonder, for three meals a day
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| Only death unimpeded, not slowing its pace
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| Brings that petty, old worry and wonder away |