Lyrics The Ballad Of Charles Whitman - Kinky Friedman

The Ballad Of Charles Whitman

He was sitting up there for more than an hour
Way up there on the Texas tower
Shooting from the twenty-seventh floor
He didn’t choke or slash or slit them
Not our Charles Joseph Whitman
He won’t be an architect no more
Got up that morning, calm and cool
He picked up his guns and went to school
All the while he smiled so sweetly
And it blew their minds completely
They’d never seen an Eagle Scout so cruel
Now won’t you think of the shame and degradation
For the school’s administration
He put on such a bold and brassy show
The Chancellor cried «it's adolescent
And of course it’s most unpleasant
But I gotta admit it’s a lovely way to go»
There was a rumour
About a tumour
Nestled at the base of his brain
He was sitting up there with his .36 magnum
Laughing wildly as he bagged them
Who are we to say the boy’s insane?
Now Charlie was awful disappointed
Else he thought he was anointed
To do a deed so lowdown and so mean
The students looked up from their classes
Had to stop and rub their glasses
Who’d believe he’d once been a marine?
Now Charlie made the honour roll with ease
Most all of his grades was A’s and B’s
A real rip-snorting, trigger squeezer
Charlie proved a big crowd pleaser
Though he had been known to make a couple C’s
Some were dying, some were weepin'
Some were studying, some were sleepin'
Some were shouting, «Texas number one,»
Some were running, some were fallin'
Some were screaming, some were bawlin'
Some thought the revolution had begun
The doctors tore his poor brain down
But not a snitch of illness could be found
Most folks couldn’t figure just a-why he did it
And them that could would not admit it
There’s still a lot of Eagle Scouts around