Lyrics The Contest - Johnny Depp, Sacha Baron Cohen, Tomothy Spall

The Contest

I am Adolfo Pirelli
Da king of da barbers
Da barber of kings
E Buon Giorno, good day
I blow you a kiss
And I, da so famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a who has-a the nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss!
Who says this?
I do.
I’m Mr. Sweeney Todd from Fleet Street.
I have opened a bottle of
Pirelli’s Elixir and I say to you, it is nothing but
An arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink.
Furthermore, Signor,
I have serviced no kings, yet I wager that I can shave a
Cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank
You hear dis foolish man?
Now please you will see how he will-a regret-a his-a
folly!
Who’s for a free shave?
Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
Glad, as always to oblige my friends and neighbors.
The fastest,
smoothest shave, is the winner!
Now signorini, signori
We mix-a da lather
But first-a you gather
Around signorini, signori
You looking a man
Who have had-a da glory
To shave-a da pope
Mister Sweeney, whoever
I beg-a your pardon
You’ll probably say it was only a cardinal
NOPE!
It was-a da Pope!
To shave-a da face
To cut-a da hair
Require a grace
Require da flare
For if-a you slip
You nick da skin
You clip-a da chin
You rip-a the lip a bit beyond-a repair
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart
Not just-a da flash
It take-a panache
It take-a da passion for da art
To shave-a da face
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me by God
It take-a da skill
It take-a da brains
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da graaaaaaaaaaaaace
The winner—is Todd!