Lyrics A Little Priest - Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter

A Little Priest

Seems a downright shame
Shame?
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has… had… has
Nor he can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it
Ah!
Good, you got it
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
Now, a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
Mrs. Lovett
What a charming notion
Eminently practical
Well, it does seem a waste
And yet appropriate as always
Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you all these years
I'll never know
(Think about it)
How delectable
(Lots of other gentlemen'll soon be)
Also undetectable
(comin' for a shave
Won't they?)
How choice
(Think of)
How rare
(All them pies!)
For what's the sound of the world out there
What, Mr. Todd
What, Mr. Todd
What is that sound
Those crunching noises pervading the air
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around
It's man devouring man, my dear
Then who are we to deny it in here?
What is that?
It's priest
Have a little priest
Is it really good?
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Awful lot of fat
Only where it sat
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice
If it's for a price
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!
Anything that's lean?
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Is that squire
On the fire?
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
Looks thicker
More like vicar!
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!
The history of the world, my love
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!
Is those below serving those up above!
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!
How gratifying for once to know
That those above will serve those down below!
What is that?
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier!
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!
Then actor
It's compacter!
Ah, but always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
We'll take the customers that we can get!
High-born and low, my love!
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone!
We'll serve anyone
And to anyone!
At all!