| When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad
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| Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
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| Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down… and won
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| And it was twelve o’clock before I realized
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| That I was havin'… no fun
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| But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
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| And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
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| It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while
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| Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone
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| No I’m just tryin' to have me some fun
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| Last time I checked my bankroll,
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| It was gettin' thin
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| Sometimes it seems like the bottom
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| Is the only place I’ve been
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| I Chased a rainbow down a one-way street… dead end
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| And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
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| Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
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| Tryin' to get away
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| From all the ears inside my walls
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| I dreamed the police heard
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| Everything I thought… what then?
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| Well I went to court
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| And the judge’s name was Hoffman
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| Ah but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
|
| And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
|
| It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while
|
| Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone
|
| No I’m just tryin' to have me some fun
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| Well done, hot dog bun, my sister’s a nun
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| Well done, son of a gun,
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| Hot dog bun,
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| Attilla the Hun,
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| My sister-in-law is an Irish nun |