| Ripping along towards middle age
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| And my music career kind of missed a page
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| Record sales began to drop
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| The management all began to hop
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| Not worry, they said, you’ll see
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| What you need is some fresh publicity
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| Just give us a nod and we’ll all leap
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| Towards putting you back at the top of the heap
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| I said, Fine, I’ll give it a whack
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| I hung up the phone and I turned my back
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| Began daydreaming I was somebody else
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| When the phone jumped over from the wall to the shelf
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| We just had a break, this is really fine
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| We can make the January issue of TIME
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| If you’ll give us Monday, a week from today
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| From two to four, now what do you say?
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| I said, TIME, TIME mag, mag
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| You got me on the rag, rag
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| Take your insults about the queen
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| And shove them up your royal Timese machine
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| But I scribbled it down on the wall calendar
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| And wondered about my interviewer
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| Maybe he’d be just a real nice guy
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| Bright and sympathetic with a roving eye
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| We’d forget all about the assignment due
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| Formalities, photos, and the interview
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| We’d hop on into his big rent-a-car
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| Go for a lovely drive, not far… maybe France
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| As the big day approached it slipped my mind
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| Till my secretary showed up at the house to remind
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| Me to switch into gear for the big coup de gras
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| The meeting with the man from the media
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| I swept the driveway and polished the phone
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| Put on a Kenzo knit in two-tone
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| Fluffed the pillows in the burgundy chair
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| Made up my eyes and brushed my hair… all in that order
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| When he called to say he was three hours late
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| My cheerful facade began to disintegrate
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| The photographer’d be even later still
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| She was hopelessly lost in the nearby hills
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| He arrived not exactly the man of my dreams
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| Not bad for a rep from the Timese machine
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| Asked me a wandering question or three
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| And I thought he was actually listening to me
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| And I said, TIME, TIME mag, mag
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| You got me on the rag, rag
|
| Take your insults about the queen
|
| And shove them up your royal Timese machine
|
| Curious about his interest
|
| I babbled my way through the worldwide list
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| Ireland, Chile and the African states
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| Poetry, politics and how they relate
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| Motherhood, music and Moog synthesizers
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| Political prisoners and Commie sympathizers
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| Hetero, homo and bisexuality
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| Where they all stand in the nineteen-seventies
|
| Then suddenly it stopped and he started to lobby
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| Said, Tell me some inside stuff about Bobby
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| Bobby who? |
| I smiled and said
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| And the TIME man’s face was laced with red
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| I know you guys used to know each other
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| I know you refer to him as being your brother
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| And I know that you know where he’s coming from
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| I said, You know alot for being so Goddamned dumb
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| And I said, TIME, TIME mag, mag
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| You got me on the rag, rag
|
| Take your insults about the queen
|
| And shove them up your royal Timese machine
|
| Well I never gave him quite what he came for
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| The inside story and it’s really a shame
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| For I never made the January issue of TIME
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| And just before I run out of words that rhyme
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| I really should tell you that deep in my heart
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| I don’t give a damn where I stand on the charts
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| Not as long as the sun sinks into the west
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| And that’s going to be a pretty serious test… of time |